When the bagpipes start blaring you know that it's time, to observe that day when anything but green is a crime, well except for the red hair of an Irish lad, to say anything less would be stark raving mad.
But a black cowboy hat? Sir, that's not right, next year try Kermit on your head, lest you be provoking a fight.
And should one occur, and some Guinness get spilt, luck will have an Irish dog on hand to take care of your guilt.
And rest assured nearby, there's a man in a kilt, who's heard that question your thinking that could lead to quarreling, but would just as soon answer without bit of snarling.
"Just socks and shoes darling."
All smiles he is, as is the whole crowd, for as they say everyone's Irish today. Even a guy named Carols is part of this band.
"Well, I'm from South Ireland."
And speaking in verse, well it's everywhere you see, like dancing to the Irish, comes naturally, take for instance this fine lass, a rhyming duo we'll make, here we go, I'll start.
"You're in my heart..."
Ok, so that came apart, but fret not, there must be a man in the crowd who can get us back on track, make us feel Irish proud. Who can rouse our spirits and do so completely, well lo and behold, it's Charles Ely.
"I wish you Shamrocks at your doorway, love and laughter too, and a list of friends that never ends, throughout your whole life through."